God Emperor Donald Trump Will Save Us

God Emperor Donald Trump

Donald Trump. The man who destroyed the Bush dynasty with a Twitter account and baseball caps.

This election cycle has been pretty nuts so far, and can potentially get even crazier. Hillary Clinton is under investigation by the FBI for not one, but two separate felonies. Her competition for the Democratic ticket, Bernie Sanders, is a straight up unashamed socialist. The Republican establishment is falling apart before our eyes. The Bush Dynasty is officially over. The Republican old guard can’t get their preferred candidates Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio off the ground. The media and special interest groups are fervently trying to change the game but find themselves helpless.

The eye of the storm is firmly centered around an eccentric billionaire named Donald Trump.

Read the book “Meme Magic: How Stupid Pictures of Badly Drawn Frogs Influenced the 2016 Election” for the untold story of the election.

“Responsible journalism”

Believe what you will, but when did the following become acceptable for the media to act?

The problem is that saying some mean things about Rosie O’Donnell doesn’t make you a mass-murdering genocidal maniac. Heck, after Rosie’s heart attack, he even wished her well and the two seem amicable.

everyone-who-disagrees-is-hitler

Another problem with the hate speak is that if Trump is Hitler, that means all Trump supporters are Nazi’s. This is obviously ridiculous, but if you disagree with the left then you’re immediately branded a racist-Nazi-wife-beating-rapist-child-molester. So people choose to stay silent rather than talk about it and face liberal hatred. Here’s how tolerant liberals are:

I have gotten more flack from being a conservative Republican than for being trans

-Caitlyn Jenner

Racism

You know who doesn’t think Trump is racist? Minorities! You know, those people who experience the most racism. Donald Trump captured 44% of the Latino vote in Nevada while running against 2 Latinos. Black voters are tired of being told by rich white people how they should think.

People think that because Trump wants to build the Great Wall of America it must mean that he’s xenophobic. The duty of the government is to protect its’ citizens. It’s not racism, it’s the damn job description. Ted Cruz is the one who is talking about deporting people, while Trump’s plan is forward-looking only.

“Undocumented immigrants” or whatever you want to call illegal aliens today are never called one thing: “American citizens”. The Don harbors no resentment towards people who are citizens. He’s even married to a legal immigrant. He hates non-Americans so much that he… married one?

“He must be getting votes because the country is full of bigots”

The problem with this theory is that over the past 10 years we have seen:

  • Legalization of pot
  • Legalization of gay marriage
  • First black president gets 2 terms
  • Attempts at nationwide health care

All the evidence points to a country that is increasingly more tolerant and helping of others.

What’s to like about The Don?

  • Socially liberal, fiscally conservative. No longer do conservatives have to be embarrassed by their candidates catering to religious extremists or the Tea Party.
  • He doesn’t want or need special interest groups funding him. Isn’t this our dream for politics? To get people like the Koch brothers or Goldman Sachs out of policy making?
  • He’s not a career politician. No backroom deals or terrible compromises because he owes someone a favor. Isn’t this what we want?
  • He’s against nation-building in the Middle East and was against the Iraq war. Isn’t this what we want?
  • He’s pro woman. This is what equality actually looks like. Donald’s #1 for a long time was a woman. His daughter, and not his sons, is running his businesses while he’s stumping for president. He employs women in executive positions and pays them equally. While others are making grand speeches about one-day-maybe-kinda-sorta-something-oh-look-at-the-time-gotta-go, The Don is making real equality happen. If you can perform, you get the job.
  • He’s talented and smart like nothing we’ve ever seen. Became a billionaire. Hated by Dems, Republicans, Clintons, Bushes, special interests, Obama, and media. Doesn’t matter, he still comes out on top. Jeb! spent $125 million to come in last place. Trump spent $25 million for a commanding lead. Donald also spent 7% of his budget on… hats. Trump destroyed the Bush dynasty with a Twitter account and red baseball caps.

trump-invincible

The Great Wall of America

If you’ve ever said something like “Mexico will never pay for that wall”, then congratulations: you’ve been played like a fiddle. This is a common sales tactic called “talking past the sale”. By arguing about who’s going to pay for it, both sides implicitly agree that it’s already going to be built! Donald wrote a book titled The Art of the Deal and lays it all out.

Why would Mexico pay for it? Because they have no leverage. Their economy depends on the US and not the other way around. NAFTA eliminates tariffs between CA/US/MX, so US facing companies put their factories in Mexico to reduce expenses. Donald merely has to insinuate that he is going to bring manufacturing back to the US by repealing NAFTA (a wildly popular idea in the Rust Belt) and Mexico will pay for it if he lets the issue drop.

The reason the wall goes up on the Mexico border is because Canadians aren’t illegally coming into the country in large numbers. Source: the NHL isn’t beating out the NFL for the national pastime.

Is it necessary? Former governor of Arizona thinks so. She’s just someone who’s state was directly affected by illegal immigration, what does she know?

How is The Don 360-no scoping everyone?

Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) has a wonderful piece on how Trump is outsmarting everyone. People can remember his quips like “the wall” and “low energy” because he’s brilliant at anchoring.

He says his most outlandish quotes when he wants to capture media attention for a few days until his next speech, debate, or appearance. Instead of buying attack ads, he simply captures all the media attention with a few sentences. Other candidates need to spend millions while Donald has to merely Tweet. When Rubio had a spirited debate performance against Trump, the news cycle leading up to Super Tuesday was supposed to be how Rubio was now a serious challenger. Instead, the next day Donald received an endorsement from NJ governor Chris Christie and changed the discussion back to how Trump is inevitable.

Role Models

The-Donald

It’s weird how Bill Clinton gets a pass for cheating on his wife and lying to congress and Hillary gets a pass for being investigated by the FBI for two separate crimes. But Donald Trump is supposedly a worse role model because he does stuff like participating in fake wrestling matches? He’s in the WWE hall of fame, and it’s hilarious.

Hillary took millions of dollars from Wall Street and in return, bailed them out after the financial collapse. Trump says mean things on Twitter. Who’s the actual evil person here?

Hillary’s recent FBI investigation revealed that the Clinton Foundation received donations by Boeing and the Saudi government after a sale of F-15’s to Saudi Arabia. It’s straight-up bribery! But Trump said mean things on Twitter! Apparently that’s more damning than betraying the country.

THIS TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES

The establishment, special interests, and media are all terrified of Trump. He can’t be bought. He can’t be stopped. “Tolerant” liberals suggested that the only way to stop him is by assassination.

Listen to Trump in the debates. Follow his Twitter. Decide for yourself. Vote.

(And yes, along the way he’ll say some mean things)

Related: how does Donald Trump win?

If you liked this post, you’d love the book “Meme Magic: How Stupid Pictures of Badly Drawn Frogs Influenced the 2016 Election“.

trump-train-no-brakes

2 Replies to “God Emperor Donald Trump Will Save Us”

  1. President elect Mr. Trump,

    As he has said I am only a messenger, God is behind Mr. Trump, and he will save us all. And will save America.

    Go Mr. elect Trump

  2. No, Donald Trump is not a fiscal conservative, you’re thinking of Ron Paul, his polar/political opposite. Authoritarian socialist (Trump) is the opposite of Libertarian Capitalist.

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